Art
of Spam! Issue numb 30: "MARKET
ME!" Let's make
some real money. But where to begin? Easy,
you say. Find out what people want. Find out
what everyone's looking for. Find out what
everyone's looking at. Find out what they're
all searching for. Then stick it in front
of their face. Make them want it even more.
Then finally sell it to them at a price they
can or cannot afford.
But
I don't have what they want. And I still don't
know what they need. In fact they have what
I want and are trying to sell it to me. Some
won't sell it to me no matter how much I offer.
Nor do I have anything to offer. Not yet,
at least. But you can be sure I'm working
on it. You can be sure I'm not licked. You
can be sure I won't give up. And one day,
I'll have something they don't have... something
they want... something they need. One day
I'll have an offer they can't live without.
One day my phone'll be ringing, my door'll
be knocking. One day I'll be the one doing
all the refusing. One day I'll be the one
walking away.
"Feeling
penniless and blue? Going over a rough patch?
Close Curtains. Draw the Latch. Sit by the
Fire and Spin. Take a Cup. Drink it up. The
Late Night Infomercial is on." Sings
The Adwoman.
