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5. "Lassie"
6. "You Suck at Photoshop"
Enjoy. Just remember, you're only.. no, you're always.. yes, always.. watching someone's commercial.
PHOTARDSHOP™ : It's All Advertisements For Myself

"You Suck at Photoshop #3: Clone Stamp and Manual Cloning" viral video. There's lots of how-to videos illustrating and teaching the magic of Adobe's photoediting software Photoshop™. This one's got life lessons... about "fat, deceitful meatsticks"... you'll find nowhere else. Why learn (or cry) when you can laugh yourself sick. Learning Photardshop was never more fun.

See "Confessions of a Worthless Art Bum" (below) for the controversial implications of Photoshop for art and life. For-amusement-purposes-only. Note: This is the even longer version no one asked for... but who knows. The shorter version is below "Extreme (Photoshop) Makeover," video 4.


Beauty specialists ask: "But is it Art?"

HOW'S TRICKS?  Art critics everywhere secretly or openly hate Adobe's Photoshop™ and Photoshop-made art, like film critics railing against the soullessness of movies heavily dependent on special effects. As Richard Huntington put it: "...those oh-so-tricky Adobe-made abstractions that are a plague on the art of photography." I believe the key phrase, here, is "Adobe-made" as opposed to artist-made. Graphics softwaremaker Adobe gets most of the credit, not the artist using it. Photography, too, wasn't considered art once, because it didn't seem to require any special magic called talent to produce photographs of possible artistic interest. Photographs were camera-made, not artist-made. The manufacturer of a high-quality camera gets most of the credit, not the artist using it. This is especially true of ever easier to use point-and-shoot cameras utilizing ever more complex software (that is becoming like ever easier to use point-and-click, drag-and-drop, copy-and-paste software) built right into the camera to produce high-quality images. Cameras are becoming ever-more-powerful-and-simpler-to-use computers. So. Are camera operators artists or technicians? Are they amateurs or professionals? And, no, self-doubt and credibility problems won't be solved by buying bigger, fancier, more expensive, more professional-looking equipment.

Camera Vs. Camera Operator!
"Machines Will Replace Everyone."

MAN VERSUS MACHINE. As the inventors of the software and hardware behind Photoshop and photograpy continue to open up new imaging possibilities by pushing the boundaries of modern digital technology, and artists continue to quickly embrace this "industrial light and magic," how much credit will artists take for their inventions? As much as they can get away with, of course. In a recent retrospective of two supposedly seminal photo books, The Americans by Robert Frank and The New West by Robert Adams, art critic Richard Lacayo writes: "Both these books changed what it was possible to show. More than that, they changed what it was possible to see." Taking the liberty to rewrite his words, I could just as easily state: "(The technology behind) books and photographs changed what it was possible to show... and see." Furthermore, I could just as easily suggest that both the technologies of the modern printing press and photography should not only share some of the artists' credit but take most of their credit.

Art imitates life
Brussels Famous Pissing Dog Art

THE TRAGIC RELIGION OF ART: AMAZING DOG TRICKS. Every dog will learn a trick to get a treat. It's sadly stomach-tightening to watch art lovers and critics still genuflecting before some art icon, artist or fame. Every market has its salesforce. Every salesforce has its true believers to get you excited and pump you up about something's importance and value. Every salesforce has its shady scammers to dump worthless crap on you and steal your money. The art market is no different. Its pump-and-dump schemes are just more elaborate, more ornate, more full of hocus-pocus. There's always room in the art world for another footsoldier of the art maket to lionize its supposed treasures, dusting off old relics and uncovering new artifacts of esthetic faith in a heroic (or desperate) effort to resusitate and reinvigorate the lost religion of Art, especially Tragedy, all in the name of saving us, saving humanity, saving our lost humanity. There's always room in the art market for another eloquent salesman to sell (us on) the importance of the arts. But one showman stood out above all the rest: Friedrich Nietzsche.

BEYOND GOOD AND BAD ART: INVENTING YOUR OWN RELIGION. Nietzsche believed in the arts. He believed in it more than any other religion. Nietzsche tried to find redemption in, and through, tragic beauty and the arts that specialized in it. But he left the tragically unsatisfying religion of art behind to create his own religion, his own art of living. The religion of art had become the art of religion. Artists no longer worshipped art; artists were out to design a whole new religion. Why worship the art gods when man can create his own gods. The only art that mattered was the art of creating true reverence. And the path to true reverence was through utter irreverence. Irreverence was on a mission to destroy all sickly faiths to find new energy, new reverence. Nietzsche was out to destroy unrealistic beliefs that no longer had the power to be believable, but that was not his mission. His mission was to redeem his (and our) power to believe. Unfortunately, instead of finding a new way to redeem humanity's faith, he became yet another unredeemed victim. And further crowning this spectacular fall, Nietzsche unwittingly became the Art of Tragedy's most modern, most compelling poster boy for the tragically heroic. Tragically, Nietzsche failed in his effort to reinvent religion through his own special art of ideas — this superhuman "revaluation of all values" he undertook was the noblest mythical stuff of comic book legends made believable for intellectual realists. Cynics, sceptics, realists, relativists and nihilists scoffed at the optimistic naivety of communist idealism and all forms of idealism's feeble grasp of reality, especially the reality of human nature. But they found real sustenance in Nietzsche's insights, even though Nietzsche's own quest for lasting realistic ideals ended in defeat. And while Nietzsche's great imagination failed to deliver him (let alone us) from destruction, it failed in the most truly inspiring and dispiritingly tragic way imaginable. It was almost enough to turn some towards that old time religion. Others have never looked back since.

Man's best friend
Unknown Dog Pissing On Nazi Propaganda

HERO-WORSHIP WITH NO HERO. Nietzsche was no Nazi. Nietzsche was no mere fascist or nihilist. Don't believe the strident Nazi propaganda claiming otherwise. His thoughts saw through the simple-minded criminal cruelty of fascists and communists, alike, and derided not only their basic lack of honesty about the baseness of their own cruelty but also the cowardliness of this dishonesty. Nietzsche was determined to expose the all-pervasive cowardliness of all mankind's convient ignorance towards his own cruel steak. Whether self-inflicted or turned outwards, cruelty and destructiveness was hidden in all man's thoughts, impulses and actions, moral and otherwise. And Nietzsche thought he could turn this ignoble natural instinct to hurt and hide into something more noble by first exposing it to the light of day. He didn't believe the path to virtue lain in banning our cruelty. That only pushed it underground. He wanted to openly and honestly acknowledge our hidden inhumanity, then embrace our blood-thirsty desire to destroy our enemies or competitors by aiming it towards higher achievements that would transform and sublimate it in the process. Nietzsche did not believe morality rid man of his cruelty; he believed morality only hid and perverted it. And he believed a more honest approach to man's inhumaity would free man to achieve greater things than just the mere destruction of one's enemies. Nietzsche's thoughts on this open process of sublimation and enlightenment were the precursors for Freud's ideas about civilization's successful or unsuccessful attempts to sublimate man's uncivilized instincts.

HERO-WORSHIP IN SEARCH OF A HERO. Though Nietzsche is most often remembered for his attacks on the moral values of Western civilization, people forget his attacks were rooted in his sincere attempt to answer the ancient question "What is noble?" And his answer was not "Nothing." Nietzsche was not just a hero-worshiper without a hero; He was a hero-worshiper in search of a hero. He was not just a disillusioned idealist without an ideal; He died an idealist searching for an ideal. Nietzsche was in search of a more honest ideal—one that was more honest about man's primal power-hungry nature. Every man wants the power to be free, the power to choose, the power to control his life. He saw through man's attempt to disguise his basic thirst for power with the moral trappings of Western civilization. And his quest to find something noble to aspire to was the last intellectually convincing quest for the truly ideal and heroic in man. Nietzsche did not come to destroy man's moral values; he came to rescue them. He came to stop the modern erosion of values that he had the foresight to see. He came to revitalize modern civilization's steadily unconvincing values by reinventing them. But something had to die before it could be reborn. Some believe more harm than good came "in the wake of Nietzsche's savage attack on the West's moral underpinnings." Perhaps we're still in the process of transforming; still dying to be reborn.

"Who will feed my dog?"
Unknown Man Pissing Off Someone Famous And Powerful

CREATIVE DESTRUCTION. Life is cruel. Nature is cruel. Death is cruel. Life destroys life. Nature destroys life. Death destroys life. And in every case, the destruction of life is cruel. Cruelty is a form of destructiveness. But a form of destruction can also be a form of "creative destruction" if something is created when something is destroyed. And it was this creative form of destruction Nietzsche was working towards in his effort to revalue all values, especially our moral values. If Nietzsche seemed to be trying to destroy some values, it was in an effort to create new ones. Nietzsche did not value cruelty. He did not desire the destruction of life. Nietzsche valued only one thing: the truth. Despite all of the supposed destructiveness of Nietzsche's ideas on the West's moral foundations, he never sought to destroy the truth. Nietzsche believed in the truth. He was only out to destroy the feeble lies and hypocrisy he saw all around him (especially in those who believed they were kind, moral and just) in order to get to the truth. Nietzsche was out to destroy lies in order to reveal the truth. If the truth could only be seen by first stripping away cherished illusions, so be it. It was more important to grasp the truth than to hang on to comforting lies that had lost their power to comfort (himself, at least) and heal.

CREATION = DESTRUCTION? If you believe in the physicist's Principle of Conservation of Matter and Energy, then even the concepts of creation and destruction may be illusions. This principle of physics says matter and energy cannot be created or destroyed but may be changed from one form into another. So what, if anything, is lost in this transformation? More importantly, what is lost by a conscious living being undergoing this process of transformation? What is lost when we age and die? What is lost when we are destroyed? Do we really lose our lives? Are we really destroyed? Is life only transformed and never really created or destroyed? Here's a comforting thought and bone I'll throw your way if you have the stomach for it: Perhaps even death—the destruction of life—is an illusion... if you can apply science's measurable Principle of Conservation of Matter and Energy to the unmeasurable aspects of animate life once called spiritual. Perhaps nothing is really lost when we die, not even consciousness and memory. But even if you hardened materialists cannot swallow empty speculations about anything that cannot be convincingly measured and proved, it's easy to see how every form of destruction creates a new form of reality—no matter how brutal the destruction or unacceptable the newly created reality is for us or others. Everyone dreams of destroying their enemies and competitors. We dream of living in a paradise free from fear and attack, free from (our own) death and destruction. But I'm sure our enemies and competitors would take exception to being annihilated in order to make this dream of ours a reality. The real trick—the real challenge—is (and has always been) transforming human reality into a mutually rewarding existence without deceptive illusions and lies to hide or condone our own and nature's brutality.

Famous talking dog

ISN'T THAT SPECIAL. (ANYONE CAN BE A PHOTOGRAPHER OR AN ARTIST OR A WRITER... THE REAL TRICK IS BECOMING RICH AND FAMOUS FROM IT.) Get paid (for doing nothing)! Get recognition (for just being you)! Even get rich and famous (for no good reason)! Be lucky! There's simply no better way to be. Just be lucky... and you'll be happy. It's everyone's daydream. It's everyone's dream job. Yes, every dog wants a treat. Everyone wants a reward. Everyone wants more rewards, especially when he sees others getting and having more. Everyone wishes to be oh so very rewardingly special. Everyone painfully wishes to be more rewardingly special when others appear more rewarded for being more special than him. Everyone wishes to be miraculously gifted with that magical special something we collectively call talent. It's simply called talent because we have no other real name for this strange, precious unknown. Talent is, and remains, a profound mystery. So where is the talent in art photography? Where is the talent in art created with software programs like Photoshop? Photography and Photoshop seem to be more about commonly available mechanical tools, techniques and technology that can easily be used by anyone to produce and reproduce so-called works of art, rather than about uncommon artistic talent and skills possessed only by a unique few. So the people who engage in it don't seem that unique or special. After all, value in the art world is ruled by principles of supply-and-demand just like the rest of the world. If "new technologies enable even amateurs to create sophisticated images," then the glut of these new sources of seemingly sophisticated artistic images will significantly impact and degrade the overall value of those art images that can't distinguish themselves from this glut and no longer offer any real sense of uniqueness, i.e., unique value. For example, the unique value of traditional one-of-a-kind handmade paintings will disappear the moment some new technology (such as a high-quality inkjet printer) can perfectly copy and counterfeit them like paper money.

TRUTH VERSUS BEAUTY. God was not dead. Not even for Nietzsche. Not while he was still sane. For God was Truth. Nietzsche ultimately worshiped only at the altar of Truth. So... if it turned out Beauty was not Truth... that the Truth contradicted Beauty... that Beauty was a lie... then Beauty would be cast aside for the ugly Truth. But in the end, both Truth and Beauty abandoned Nietzsche. It matters little if a man thinks he believes in the Truth more than Beauty. Because the Truth becomes unbearable if there is no beauty in it... just as Beauty becomes unbearable if there is no truth in it. Truth is just simply making sense. Making sense creates harmony out of the disharmony and violence of senseless chaos. Making sense creates harmony in the minds of those making sense. And what is harmony of any kind if not Beauty? Beauty is harmony! Beauty makes the Truth tolerable. Beauty not only makes the Truth tolerable, Beauty makes the Truth enjoyable. Harmony makes tragic beauty possible. This music soothes the savage beast of suffering. Making sense turns painful truths into beautiful wisdom. Suffering that makes sense achieves harmony and, therefore, beauty. The only real suffering is senseless suffering. Ultimately, there is no sense if there is absolutely no beauty to be found in truth and no truth to be found in beauty. Innate harmony and beauty exist in any thing, any person, any world that makes sense. But making sense goes way beyond just making logical sense. Making sense is a harmonious form of esthetic pleasure that finds great harmony, pleasure and beauty in the strange... and mysterious.

Life imitates art
Unknown Dog Pissing On The Famous

ART IS UNORIGINAL. "Is it an original?" you ask. "It's not original?" you say. Who cares. Every successful artist is first an instinctive mimic and talented counterfeiter. Art schools everywhere teach students to slavishly copy "the masters" until they have the balls and wherewithal to start their own school. Every artist immitates what he likes and copies what he sees. The realist copies reality. The dreamer copies not only his own dreams but everyone else's. For everyone is fundamentally dreaming the same basic dream: immortal fame—the feeling you know you're going to live forever! Who cares if it's false; It seems real because it feels real. Who cares if it's an illusion. Every artist's vision is profoundly unoriginal because everyone's goal is fundamentally the same: being immortalized —that timeless feeling of knowing you're living forever! It all comes down to fame? Yes, immortal fame. It all comes down to fame because it's all about being immortalized by fame, immortalized by recognition, by massive amounts of positive public and private recognition. It's all about getting recognition—the recognition of one's own immortality. Most of us only strive to get this recognition from our friends and loved one. While others are determined to realize this common dream on a much larger scale. But everyone secretly dreams of great conquests of recognition. Everyone dreams of immortality. Everyone dreams of being famous.

IMMORTALITY'S RECOGNITION VALUE. Nothing's more important than being important. And nothing seems or feels more important than being immortalized by the recognition of fame. Fame may not be a lasting sense of importance, but nothing else lasts longer. Art is never about (the importance of) the subject matter; art is about (the importance of) recognition, lasting recognition. The artist gives his subject a sense of importance by devoting his powers of recognition to it. The more he devotes to it, the more important it becomes (to him). We not only give a sense of importance to everything we pay attention to and recognize; we immortalize it to a degree. The love & glory of star power's intoxicating sense of immortality—found in Big Recognition, Big Love, public and private—is everyone's common goal. Ambition is the same everywhere; no matter where you go; no matter who is involved; no matter what shape, dream or name takes hold. Everyone is chasing Big Love's Big Recognition, in hopes of being immortalized by it. Everyone is chasing a sense of immortality through the power of recognition. This is especially true of the power of positive recognition. Ambition has everyone chasing the Recognition of Immortality. The value of recognition lies in the sense of immortality it offers. Recognition of Love = Recognition of Immortality.

Life is art!
Unknown Dog Making Art

DOG-EAT-DOG COMPETITION FOR ATTENTION AND RECOGNITION. Everyone wants Big Love. Everyone wants Big Love in the form of Big Recognition. But every form of Big Recognition requires the participation of others. No matter how content you are devoting all your time and attention to something in your own world, you want others to recognize its importance in order to confirm it. You want others to recognize you and your world's importance and make it all appear bigger and more real. Big Love, Big Recognition, requires others to pay attention to you and recognize you. Unfortunately, everyone else wants to make (and is making) the same demands on you. Everyone must compete for their own and other's attention and recognition. But worse than having to compete for Big Love, Big Recognition, is having to convince or trick others into believing you deserve more love and recognition than them. The worse thing about having to compete is having to make others feel you are more important and valuable than them. Everyone is a tricky-little-dicky out to prove he or she is more uniquely valuable than his competitors. Everyone is a competitor. Everyone is your competitor, for love & money. Whether successful at the con or not, everyone is a con artist out to conjure up and sell an insulting impression that he is more lovable, more important, more praiseworthy.. than you. Everyone is a con. Everything is a con. Everyone is a dog. Everyone is dogfood. Everyone is a cannibal. Time to eat you. Yes, I hate all art. I hate anyone more famous and successful than me. I hate any effort I make to be more famous and successful than you. I hate competition even as I compete. But I hate losing even more than I hate winning. I hate having to compete. But that never stopped me from competing. God, I hate life. But that doesn't stop me from living. That doesn't stop me from wanting to live! We're all in the same big, stinking, sinking boat. Some just drown faster than others. We don't have to face it only because the perishable hope and supplies in our miserable little life rafts haven't run out just yet. But when they do, look out! Watch your back. Time to eat you.. and you. Art nihilism wants to devour Art's rich and famous. I propose... that for no damn good reason: Art = Fashion = Fame = Money.

LOVE IS BLIND AND FAME IS EVEN BLINDER. Want to be famous? Piggyback something else's fame. Piggyback someone else's fame. Want to be famous? Shoot someone famous. Start a fight with someone famous. Be seen with someone famous. Make love to someone famous. I don't care how many times celebrity photographer Any Lebowitz goes down on famous photography critic Susan Sontag (On Photography) and changes Sontag's mind, art photography is a mercenary scam... like the rest of the art market. Beyond dumb luck, the only genius at work here (if any) is marketing genius. At best, Liebiwitz didn't need Sontag's approval because she already achieved a level of star power, somehow, without her. But celebrities everywhere love to party and have sex with other celebrities... of equal or greater stature. At worse, Sontag's critical reversal about photography is nothing more than the product of a casting couch: a less important, less powerful or less famous starlet sexually auditioning for and trading favors with a bigger, more important, more powerful star to further her own career. Or perhaps it was just peer-pressure from an art world that ultimately takes its cues from the art market's desire to make money. Why say photography isn't art if you can't make money off of it. Just because Sontag made her reputation and money off of that message doesn't mean the rest of the art world can. It's just more profitable to redefine the concept of art to include photography as a legitamate art form. As Warhol — that calculatedly self-effacing art whore, wise ass and darling of the art world — was man enough to say: "Art is what you can get away with."

Strike it rich! Clean up in the art market!
Unknown Dog Picking Up And Cleaning Up After The Famous

DEMOCRATIZATION OF ART!  (More peer-pressure for Susan Sontag.) We all want to get away with it. We all want to get away with as much undeserved praise, profit and happiness as we can. Life is randomly unfair. And the whimsies of art are just as unjust. Life randomly rewards and brutalizes. But the art world brands its own whimsical brutality with extra special seductiveness. We all deserve to be happy. Don't we? We all deserve to be as happy as any of life's random success stories. So what about the rest of us luckless, artless uglies? Don't we deserve a place in the sun and spotlight, too? What about the whole world's desire to be famously "artistic" without much effort, talent or skill? We want praise and profit from this glamourous pursuit and fun lifestyle, too. We want to feel as good about ourselves as the successful do. We can't all be as lucky or gifted as you and those you approve of. Or can we? Democratize the glamour of the arts! Expand the arts to make everything artistic. Expand your conception of art to make everything art. Give me a golden shower. Make ugly ol' me popular. Make me beautiful. Call me beautiful. Declare my crap is art. Invite me to your party. Make me the star attraction. Make me famous. Make everyone famous. Call everyone beautiful! Spread the word. Spread the joy. Spread the wealth. Spread the love. Make everyone an artist! Make everyone beautiful! Make everyone successful. Spare no expense! Build a classy museum to house us all! Erect a monument to all our memories. Fortify everyone's fragile ego. Raise a temple of worship to us all. Sanctify every one of us. Transform everyone into a god and goddess. Immortalize us all!

ART IS A GAME TO BE GAMED.  Art is the game of love. It's the most glamourous, most rewarding international competition for the world's love because it's all about fame... and the fortunes made from the fortunes willing to pursue and woo it. I'm not asking you to lower your standards. I'm telling you I want to level the playing field. I don't want to cheat. I want to change the rules of the game so I can win, too. I want to score. I want to be a winner just like you. I hope you lucky winners don't need or want me to be a loser just so you can be a winner. I don't think art needs to create losers just so it can pick winners. I think art can be a win-win situation. Don't you? I said, don't you?! Don't make me come after you. Admire me and I'll kiss your equally admirable ass. Snub me and I'll kick your elitist ass. Do me... right or wrong... and I'll return the favor. It's pay back. It's karma.

Dogs and owners need love, too.
Unknown Dog With Its Unknown Owner Hoping For Best In Show

THE CON IS ON. Worship me, not you! Make me more famous than you. Make me more lovable than you. Fame is public acclaim. It's public lovemaking. Fame is the show business of love. Some may say it's the pornography of love. And everyone in the art world is in the business (of fame). Art is not only in the business of love; art is in the business of showing love. Every art show is a show of love. Every famous art personality, every famous art object, is shown all sorts of love. Fame is art's only real business. Fame is what the art market sells. Fame is the only truth, the only beauty, the only happiness, the only value, it has the expertise to sell. Fame is a popularity contest, and so is art. The only expertise you need to judge what is art is knowing what you like. But to be successful in the art market, it's more important to know what others like. You need to know what is the most popular of what is popularly known as art. You need to know what is popular with the experts. You need to know who the most popular experts are. Yes... the most respected experts and artists, the most respected products and people, can be the most popular. But being popular is more important than being respected. And being famous is more important than being popular. For fame is what really counts towards popularity. The extremely popular can become famous. But fame has the power to create its own popularity... all by itself. Fame has the power to create demand. Fame has the power to create a market. So create a market for me! Create demand for me. Make me famous! I demand it! And if I must.. must.. compete with you.., I demand to be more in demand than you.

FAME = ATTENTION. ATTENTION ECONOMY = FAME ECONOMY. "Where there's a wealth of information, there's a poverty of attention." Society's not an information economy. It's not an information society. Society's a fame economy because it's an attention economy. It's a fame society running on a fame economy. For society is created by attention and runs on attention, but there's a limited supply of attention for an infinite demand on it. Everyone wants attention. The markets demand it. The markets want as much attention as is humanly possible to get. The markets demand fame! Attention is the building blocks of fame. Attention fuels fame, and fame fuels the engine of the marketplace. Fame fuels the market. Fame rules the market. Fame rules every market, not just the art market. Every market is a fundamentally showy business trying to show off its wares. There is no business except show business. And fame is both its best seller and star salesman. Fame is the most primal and most powerful form of marketing.

How many nameless dogs played Lassie?
Unknown Dog With Famous Name

SHOWDOGS: EVERYONE IS IN SHOW BUSINESS. Every person is a complete unknown trying to know how to be known. Every person is an undiscovered star trying to be discovered. Every person is a salesman trying to sell his own sense of worth to others. Every salesman is a showman trying to make himself and his wares more popular, more famous. Every showman is an adman campaigning to make his brand a beloved household name. Fame = Advertising. They want your love and money. Fame wants your love. The markets want your money. But fame is inseparable from the markets. Fame = The Market. The market is all about selling, and selling is all about advertising, and advertising is all about fame. You can't sell anything that isn't known or knowable in some way. People can't buy what they don't know exists. And fame is the brightest beacon of conscious existence, i.e., of known existence. It's all about getting known. It's all about being known. Everything we know is a form of free or paid advertising. But fame is the most intense form of advertising. The marketplace is centerstage for fame's show business circus of love. Every market is a popularity contest for your love and money. The market does not merely clamor for fame; the market is famous. It's famous for being where all the action is. It's famous for being where all the money is. It's overwhelmingly famous for all the spectacular love, joy and glory it showcases and sells. The market is a spectacularly insatiable star clamoring louder and louder for more fame on which to build its fortunes.

WHAT WOULD JESUS DO IF HAPPINESS COULD NOT BE FOUND IN THE TRUTH? BECOME AN ARTIST! Say you were in the market for both truth and happiness. Say you had to pick between truth or happiness, what would you do? Pick the plain, unvarnished truth; no matter how boring, ugly, hurtful or painful it is? No? So. You pick happiness over truth. Why? Because happiness is more desirable... thus more popular... than truth. In that case, I'm happy to make fun of you. For as you see: No one chooses truth over happiness. Some just find happiness where you do not. The truth is: Being happy is the only truth worth knowing. So, as always, what follows is meant only for those it pleases:

Artists are dogs. Art is a dog show. And the art market is a dog race run by rats and won by the trickiest rat. So again one asks: "How's tricks?" This art critic says: "Life is short. A very short rat race. Truth is a whore. Beauty is a lie. Enjoy it while you can. Enjoy it any way you can. Enjoy."

I've confessed. Throw me a bone.

CONFESSIONS OF A WORTHLESS ART BUM: "The Artist As Ancient Trickster!" (Sorry. No self-help here for the starving, beleaguered artist. Save yourself. I can't even save myself. Doggy heaven here I come.) The original shorter bum confession is in the same old place: below video 4, "Extreme (Photoshop) Makeover."

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